“Muslim punk rockers” The Kominas
by Prop Anon
Bastards of Young, a punk rock road documentary, recently released by filmmakers Rakesh Baruah and Marcus Ricci, is 60 minutes of raucous action narrated by the poets of the future. A movie like theirs could not have come at a better time than in today’s angry and confused cultural landscape. For three weeks in August 2009, Baruah and Ricci rolled their cameras nonstop as they followed three unique musical voices on their nationwide US tour. What they captured was all the mayhem and chaos such a cross-country tour manifests. When that tour involves a group of “Muslim punk rockers,” a Sufi dance rock virtuoso and an Anarchistic Hip-Hop artist the outcome makes this documentary worth watching.
The Kominas were formed in 2005 when Basim Usmani gave his friend Shahjehan Khan a cassette tape that read ‘Punk 101.’ Shaj quickly adapted his guitar playing style from classic rock to the infectious grooves of bands like The Clash, Sex Pistols, The Damned, NOFX, The Misfits, and the two began crafting their own brand of Punk. The Kominas wrote a couple song and threw them up on their myspace account, little did they know that they were about to tap into a cultural Zeitgeist. Why? They were singing about their experience growing up as Pakistani Americans raised by Muslim parents and the struggles they faced in their experience as young Americans. Luckily, they were funny and their highly ironic lyrics followed in the tradition of all the best punk rock has to offer. Based off two myspace songs the band received an absurd amount of media attention, and as they grew as a band they continually faced the criticism that they were handed something they did not yet earn. Most bands spend years in the trenches before receiving any attention, but for the Kominas this was different and they were willing to prove their detractors wrong. Over the next few years they were joined by Imran Malik, on drums, and Arjun Ray on guitar, and they created their first album ‘Wild Nights in Guantanamo Bay;’ released in 2008. By the time of the 2009 tour, The Kominas were ready to prove all detectors wrong and show and prove that they were constantly evolving musicians with a vital perspective needing to be heard. The future of America may just depend upon it.
Bastards of Young reveals the struggles faced while on a D.I.Y. nationwide tour embarked on by musicians hungry to speak their minds. In 2009, I was nearing the completion of my first album Squat the Condos, a Hip-Hop record that was calling attention to the rapidly increasing price of everyday life in cities like New York. My song Luxury Condos epitomized of that message. Sarmust, aka Omar Waqar, played his Sufi dance indie rock with an intensity that made instant fans. His songs addressed topics like partition, hate crimes, and rocking the fuck out.
This film does an excellent job chronicling the mad road driving men ahead when facing the perils of physical injury, malnutrition, and no sleep to reveal the joyful nature at the heart of all great music. Since 2009, the Kominas have evolved their sound and continue to tour to growing audiences. Me, I’m just trying to pay rent, but I won’t give up on the music. Watching this documentary makes me want to hang out with all these guys. Oh snap, I did! Well, I’m real glad I did.
Bastards of Young documents friendships made under the rubric of punk rock and Hip-Hop. Friendship is one of the themes explored within, and the fun times that can be had when people put friendship before all else within the music industry. Baruah and Ricci are talented filmmakers and their movie adroitly translates the excitement of music and the open road. The statement is clear: counterculture is not locked away in online nihilistic holes spewing venom and crying for an America that never existed. The counterculture is on the road, making friends, having fun and challenging hatred. Bastards of Young demonstrates that America’s hope resides in the people making a place for themselves while making room for others. This is Punk Rock, this is Hip-Hop, this is America, and this is the future.
PROP ANON is the author of the upcoming Chapel Perilous: The Life and Thought Crimes of Robert Anton Wilson, the first official biography of the late counterculture philosopher. Prop Anon started his career as a Hip-Hop artist whose 2010 album Squat the Condos presaged the Occupy movement. In 2014, Prop switched musical gears and released a Stoner Rock album called HAIL ERIS! with his band, HAIL ERIS!
by Jody Radzik
When you believe the universe is a Super Hot Dominatrix who has no fucks to give and no sense of what She’s doing as She slashes and burns away while laughing manically about the whole thing, it’s a bit easier to bear the horrors of the present day in its various spheres, including that of commercial spirituality.
Case in point: the devotees of convicted rapist guru Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh. While awaiting the verdict of his trial on rape charges, over 200,000 of his devotees staged to riot in northern India. And when the inevitable explosion occurred after the guilty verdict was announced, everyone was still caught surprised by the intensity of the demonstration of rage that has since come to be known as the Northern India Riots of 2017, in which 38 people were killed (most by police), over 300 were injured, with thousands detained and over 500 people arrested. With his command staff on the lam fleeing arrest warrants, the Baba has been left to his own devices in prison. And apparently, things are looking up for Singh as he has allegedly already converted most of his prison guards into devotees.
But while Singh gets comfy in jail, the heat is now on for anybody else considered to be a Godman or Godwoman in India. The surprise severity of the riots has resulted in a proliferation of news media articles that are critical of gurus in India. Most of these fall into a category you could call “Bad Baba” lists, but the fact that they even exist, and in such great numbers over such a long period of time, does not bode well for those who were imagining themselves to be the next big Godsploitation artist in India.
Meanwhile, in what has got to be the greatest case of overt greenwashing that India has ever seen, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, founder of Isha Yoga and possessor of what is hands-down the bushiest beard in the commercial guru space, is busily trying to shore up his image after erecting a statue of Shiva in his profile on a wetlands. He is doing this by not-at-all-ironically campaigning for the preservation of rivers and wetlands in India! Apparently, they are all drying up, which is an expected outcome when you’re building statues on top of them.
Back here in the States, we’ve been left to contend with a newly “woke” Jim Carrey, who is certainly not being shy about it. Taking his already world-class creepiness to new heights, he is now clearly demonstrating being firmly in the grips of a classic case of ego displacement, which occurs when people who are exposed to the ideas of nondual spirituality create a new persona for themselves of not being there as themselves after having undergone some kind of transformational experience that has been misinterpreted as nondual spiritual enlightenment. He’s joining the ranks of thousands who are already online making identical proclamations, but Carrey’s celebrity puts him in a different class entirely—those who will be heard regardless—and with celebrities such as EDM DJ/producer Diplo making proclamations in support of Carrey’s being “woke AF,” a whole generation’s chance at true spiritual understanding now lies in abject peril.
But with much greater perils being dropped into the theater of our lives everyday by a mad Mother Goddess and the crazies She has up on the main stage, what the kids think about Jim Carrey’s enlightenment is going to have to be happy
by Angela Nagle, Selections by R.U. Sirius
Weighing in at only 129 short pages, Kill All Normies: Online Culture Wars From 4Chan and Tumblr to Trump And The Alt-Right (KAL) is the book to read this year. Everyone who — like most MONDO enthusiasts — have been steeped in counterculture values and attitudes needs to wrestle with its complicating vision. While it’s not a pretty picture, it’s a peculiarly fun read — excessive behaviors do tend to keep us fascinated.
While the so-called “alt-right” is the main target of this books’ critique/expose, the excesses of the culture-obsessed left are also sharply assessed. KAL spreads its blame around for the ugliness currently extant online as it spills with increasing vigor into the physical political realm.
Most interestingly, for MONDO readers, KAL takes on transgression, libertinism and other tropes of hip culture and, more or less, concludes that we are not doing the right thing.
Here I present the parts of the book I underlined. They may be a little out of context, but most of you will get the point.
The Technotopian Connection
The culture of 4chan, Anonymous etc., in the pre-gamergate days of Occupy and Anonymous could have gone another way. Long before this ‘geeks vs feminists’ battle, the libertarian left had its own pro-hacker, pro-computer geek, Internet-centric political tradition, which some in the early Anonymous milieu obviously drew influence from. Hakim Bey’s idea of the temporary autonomous zone was based on what he called ‘pirate utopias’ and he argued that the attempt to form a permanent culture or politics inevitably deteriorates into a structured system that stifles individual creativity. His language and ideas influenced anarchism and later, online cultures that advocated illegal downloading, anonymity, hacking and experiments like bitcoin. Echoes of John Perry Barlow’s manifesto ‘A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace’ can be seen in this earlier period of Anon culture and in analyses that reflect a more radical horizontalist politics, like Gabriella Coleman’s work. Barlow was one of the founders of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, anarchist hackers and defenders of an Internet free of state intervention, capitalist control and monopolizing of the online world. In a similar style to the rhetoric of 4chan and Anonymous (‘we are legion’), it warned: Governments of the Industrial World, you weary giants of flesh and steel, I come from Cyberspace, the home of Mind. On behalf of the future I ask you of the past to leave us alone. You are not welcome among us. You have no sovereignty where we gather.
Just a few years ago the left-cyberutopians claimed that ‘the disgust had become a network’ and that establishment old media could no longer control politics, that the new public sphere was going to be based on leaderless user-generated social media. This network has indeed arrived, but it has helped to take the right, not the left, to power. Those on the left who fetishized the spontaneous leaderless Internet-centric network, declaring all other forms of doing politics old hat, failed to realize that the leaderless form actually told us little about the philosophical, moral or conceptual content of the movements involved. Into the vacuum of ‘leaderlessness’ almost anything could appear. Read more “(Excerpt) Kill All Normies: Online Culture Wars From 4Chan And Tumblr To Trump And The Alt-Right”
by: Renketsu Link
The ultimate problem is this: It’s all written by civilians.
The intel community has a word for people who aren’t on the inside: Little people.
Little people don’t matter because they don’t have skin in the game. The reasoning goes, intel agents are in the field, while you’re at home living your life. On some level, there is the understanding that the intel community is fighting to protect the lives and happiness of the Little People, but in practice there tends to be condescension and resentment because you don’t really get to lead a normal life if you’re playing the Great Game. The two are fundamentally incompatible. This also means that little people don’t know anything about how the intel community operates on any level, which includes how it treats things that it considers important (intel product) from inception to retirement. In point of fact, most “common knowledge” about the intelligence community comes from movies and novels, and intersects in no meaningful way with reality. Much of this misinformation is due to the fact that that people on the inside don’t want to talk because they assume that a) they’re being watched by Somebody (which is the case maybe a quarter of the time, and usually by their own agency’s counter-intelligence section) and b) no matter what they say they’ll get picked up for saying anything (a risk which varies by administration). There is a more subtle reason for this, which I’ll get to in a moment.
The chain of command is not only something you get beat with until you let someone else be in charge, it’s also a game of Telephone where nobody’s willing to call anybody else on their weird-ass ideas.
The intel community is a world unto itself, ostensibly executing policy set by the Executive Branch. That policy gets modified in subtle ways all the way down through the various chains of command. This Director thinks the policy means one thing, and interprets it one way. The Vice Director thinks the policy interpretation they found on their desk one morning means something else and writes orders that mean something slightly different. And so on. Policy (what a government wants to accomplish and how it wants to be perceived) is just as much created as it is carried out. At the level of the individual operative there is no policy, there are only orders carried out that, to a large extent seem to reflect the original intent of what the Executive Branch wanted to do but just as often doesn’t. The chain of command is not only something you get beat with until you let someone else be in charge, it’s also a game of Telephone where nobody’s willing to call anybody else on their weird-ass ideas. Functionally speaking, this is a feature and not a bug because plausible deniability is the chief concern of civil servants, and being able to blame somebody farther down the chain of command than you are has saved no small number of asses over the years.
The “more subtle reason” I alluded to earlier?
If somebody on the inside talks about stuff inside the intelligence community, they are commonly perceived as being The People Who Set Policy. Let’s consider J. Random Spook, an intelligence operative of some kind who happens to make a public statement that gets published. The little people think J. Random Spook is the one who makes the hard calls, orders the assassinations, organizes the overthrow of governments, and so forth. He looks like he’s in charge when he is, in fact, not particularly important. Unfortunately, this makes the agency J. Random Spook works for look bad. It also makes it look like J. Random is doing things above their pay grade which pisses everybody off and explicitly goes against agency policy (and by that I mean the handbook that says what Thou Canst and Canst Not Do While You Work Here). Also, due to the chain of command being one big game of Telephone, this also misrepresents what the Executive Branch wants done and makes the President look bad. Whether or not anybody in the Executive Branch knows that the chain of command is a big game of Telephone is an entirely separate question — one I don’t have the answer to. The Internal Affairs and probably Counter-Intelligence departments of the agency J. Random works for come down on him like a ton of bricks because he’s not only kicked over an anthill by running his mouth, he’s shit on the Director’s desk right before a visit by the President.
But, back to Russian embassy reporting. In particular, the Russian embassies in New York City and San Francisco being shut down a week or two ago, all personnel being expelled from the country, and people reporting fires at those facilities. Read more “The Unbearable Cluelessness of Russian Embassy Reporting”
Phriendz with R.U. Sirius
(Sirius – Daddy Phr!day)
Video by Pizza T
i asked my baby for her tantric thing
she tossed away the side of her face
she’s an elevated totally evil wigged-out angel
she shaked clear and showed me her glass spine
i asked my baby for a 5 dollar bill
she says she’s very very smart
she’s a masculine italian gangster movie
she wears those black satin gloves so groovy
i asked my baby to look beneath the sheets
she feels the breath of god caress her
she loves old wiz in Beatle boots
she likes the thrill of the overdosed jester
i asked my baby why we jumped outta the womb
she wants a lie that’s more fulfilling
I smile gee whiz we’re roller-coaster baby-friends
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
I hope you didn’t dose dose dose the pudding
Part of a MONDOToxicated experience! RU Sirius and his warriors of rock met again using the internet to have band practice and bring you this amazing remix of their own song. Robert Anton Wilson and Terence Mckenna voices were used by the bandmates in the darknet to create the remix.Zane Kesey let us use a recreation of his father’s Furthur bus that Zane personally made himself. Thank you Zane! You are solid!
Addendum: Steal This Singularity has almost nothing to do with the notion that we will develop Artificial Intelligences that are smarter than us or that if such a thing were to happen it would be a “singularity.” I just like the name.
In 1971, a revolutionary prankster/celebrity named Abbie Hoffman, who had started the radical group the Yippies (Youth International Party) released Steal This Book, a manual for living on the fringes of a wealthy society by grabbing up some free shit from corporate powers while committing some Blows Against the Empire.
See, 1971 was the last year that the vanguard of the counterculture thought that they were going to make a total cultural and political psychedelic/anarchistic/left wing revolution before realizing… fuck it. Let’s campaign for McGovern.
But more to my point here and the milieu it attempts to speak to… true story… the Yippies started the phreakin’ “digital revolution!” To wit: The hacker culture started as the phone phreak culture. The phone phreak culture came out of the Steal This Book attitude about getting free shit from the detritus of corporate culture, in this case, the phone company. The first legendary phone phreak, John Draper aka Captain Crunch, who built the blue boxes, used to hang out at 9 Bleeker Street, NYC, Yippie headquarters. The first magazine that focused primarily on phone phreaking was YIPL (Youth International Party Line), which was started by Hoffman and “Al Bell.” In 1973, it transmorgified into TAP, which is more broadly remembered as the initiatory phone phreak periodical.
Phone phreaks were computer hackers. Draper famously noted that the phone system “is a computer.” From this milieu, the personal computer arose. Famously, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak funded the birth of the Apple by selling Blue Boxes So, you see, I stand on solid-if-hallucinatory historical ground today as I sound a Hoffmanesque note towards The Singularity Or Something Like It.
See Also Did It! From Yippie To Yuppie: Jerry Rubin, An American Revolutionary (Excerpt)
As savvy as the slickest madmen in advertising, the Yippies tried to project universal messages: “everyone is a leader” and “the Festival is whatever you want it to be.” As Jerry told Abe Peck in 1985, “It was mutual manipulation.
A marvelous visual stunning book by Pat Thomas, Did It: Jerry Rubin” An American Revolutionary captures the excitement and humor of the prankster counterculture radicalism of the 1960s and ’70s as well as the odd engagements of Rubin and varied fellow travelers with other attempts at bending reality across the remainder of the 20th Century. Did It is an oral history — not just of Jerry Rubin, but of the people with whom he engaged in activism and play… among them boldface names like John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Bob Dylan and Allen Ginsberg.
For those of you too young to remember, Jerry Rubin was one of the leaders of the Yippies or Youth International Party, a group that took a radical mix of counterculture and new left ideas and impulses and turned it into disruptive, funny and dangerous political theater.
While the Yippies are best known for their famous “siege of Chicago” — some of the activities leading up to that are memorialized in this excerpt — they remained a vital organization into the 1970s and were the leading activists in a few communities.
We will be running an interview with Pat Thomas about the book soon. Meanwhile, we hope you enjoy these pages straight from the book.
Thanks to author Pat Thomas and FANTAGRAPHICS for permission to publish this excerpt. In addition to his current book, Thomas is the author of Listen, Whitey! The sights & sounds of Black Power 1965-1975 and consulted on the essential film history of the Black Panther Party, The Black Panthers: The Vanguard of the Revolution.
For those of you who would prefer not to squint at the tiny print that accompanies the pdfs from the book itself, we provide the unadulterated text below the designed pages.
btw there’s not much point to Steal This Book online. It’s the visual design that makes it! So rip off your boyfriend instead.
soon it will be possible to not just change genders but create your own unique form. Surgery is not the only way this will be done: we are just beginning to see the potential of CRISPR, which will allow us to alter our very genes.
by M. Christian
In our previous instalment, “La Petite Mort: The Death Of Sex,” we looked at how technology will eventually eliminate not just the reproductive aspects of makin’ whoopee but possibly also the whoopee part itself.
This time, though, we’re looking at the end of something just about as old as sex. But, as we’ll soon find out, what’s really going to die isn’t snips and snails, sugar and spice but how we look at world around us — particularly when it comes to gender.
Before we get to that, we first have to talk about pareidolia: the way the human mind sees structures — like faces in clouds — that aren’t really there.
Many researchers have hypothesized that pareidolia is actually a survival tactic: that the deepest structures in our minds evolved it to be able, as quickly as possible, to identify possible threats — or even to be able to “read” the emotions of those around us. Again, as a way to get the jump on what could be a dangerous situation.
The bottom line is that we, humans, really like patterns. We want to box and label everything around us. There’s even a scientific discipline dedicated to this very thing: Taxonomy, the science of (cribbing from Wikipedia here) “description, identification, nomenclature, and classification of organisms.”
Oh, sure, there are rules in taxonomy — what separates it just seeing bunnies in stratocumulus formations — but even in this field we’ve begun to realize that we need to change our perspective, not just see things that just aren’t there.
Hell, we can barely decide what life actually is — or can be — let alone trying to fit it into neat compartments.
Here’s where we get to gender. It would be easy to say that the idea of gender has changed, playing into the conservative hysteria that “boys can’t be boys, girls can’t be girls” anymore, but there are many societies — some far older than our embarrassing country — that has seen gender as much more fluid.
Just to pick one that’ll rub some salt in well-deserved wounds the real Americans, not just those filthy immigrants, had a much more expansive and inclusive concept of gender. The Dineh (incorrectly called Navajo) see not just men and women but four variations, depending on behavior as well as biology.
Similarly, there are the Hijra of India and Pakistan, who are considered to be neither male or female but a unique third gender.
In these modern times, there is the slowly growing acceptance of intersex individuals: those who (quoting from the UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights): “do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies.”
Thought LGBT activism and visibility, both in the United States and other countries, we have also similarly seen idea of gender being expanded: from transgender individuals but also from those who choose to embrace their own definitions and physical forms. Read more “Quantum Sex & The Death Of Gender”
The idea of taking a bearing on a moral compass seems as antique an idea as aspiring to having a wife, 2.3 kids and a lifelong job with a pension at the end of it.
by Pariah McCree
“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! DAD’S ON IRC AGAIN!!!!”
“Funny, you don’t sound like you’re Jewish. Could you wear this yarmulka? Just for me? Please?”
“Shitpost with me, mommy.”
“I’m sorry, I only fuck transmen who are only fans of the Original Star Trek, have IQs in excess of 160, and speak four languages.”
“Let me tell you about Homestuck…”
It’s been said that on the Internet, everybody is somebody else’s fetish. In the heart of the Bible belt it’s next to impossible to find a holy roller that doesn’t have a flash drive full of tranny porn (which I may or may not star in) or a cheerleader who can’t have her ass fisted without needing to warm up first. I blame the Internet for this.
Before Eternal September, there was the alt.sex hierarchy and a small group of anonymous remailers that specialized in letting lonely kinky people find one another and occasionally hook up. As much as hooking up with somebody is fun (and it is) there is a more subtle beneficial effect: By finding someone who is willing to join you in some nonstandard kind of fun you have found somebody like you in some way. You have, as Leary put it, Found (one of) The Others. It’s immensely reassuring to find someone like you, it lets you know that on some level You’re Okay and Validated and all of that touchy-feely bullshit. It makes you happy to know that you’re not alone.
Now, thirty years later, we have kids graduating from high school wanting to be camwhores the moment they’re old enough and Fetlife meetups at every office of the megacorp of your choice. I do not think that this is a matter of society becoming more accepting of non-vanilla sexuality and the (meta)human body. I think it is a matter of people simply not caring anymore because things are getting so fucked up there are more important things to worry about.
I do not think that this is a matter of society becoming more accepting of non-vanilla sexuality and the (meta)human body. I think it is a matter of people simply not caring anymore because things are getting so fucked up…
History runs in cycles and rhymes with itself. In the 90’s we saw a new incarnation of the hippie, with the same bell bottom jeans and ethnic shirts and blouses reconstructed around the then-infant Internet-infused street smarts and knowledge that ushered in the twenty-first century. Now we have a strange fusion of the revival of the 1980’s (complete with vintage analog synthesizers and sticky sappy sweet love ballads of warm summer nights), the intentionally low-res 8-bit aesthetic, and the echoes of the grunge movement of the early 1990’s in basements and new clubs. We also have the same shitty beer. At the same time we’re inundated in the nuclear war fatalism of the 1980’s and the fear of Russia/China/North Korea/Sweden/France/insert the damned atheist commie country of your choice threatening our way of life all over again. When there’s precious little that you can do to control your world, really the only thing you can do is say “Fuck it, let’s fuck.”
There is much that is not yet completely socially acceptable. For example, the more common fetishes in the set of all paraphilias are likely to raise eyebrows and get a couple of questions, but it’s not as if most people are comfortable talking about them over coffee “just because.” There is also much that should not be socially acceptable on any sane world, such as faking an assassination attempt on oneself, successfully framing someone else for it, getting away with it for four years, and getting re-elected sherriff anyway. And yet it is. Compared to the possibility of waking up as a pillar of ash in the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust, getting off on being kicked in the balls for sexual pleasure is a trivial thing, no different from brushing your hair in the morning. Some of it may be a matter of scale: finding out that your best friend has a foot fetish and thinks your sandals are really hot is one thing because they’re your best friend. You see them all the time, they hang out at your apartment, you party together. But finding out that an innocent kid seven states away was chosen as a patsy and thrown in jail for years is something really big, really not us, really “Thank Me that it happened to some other shmuck.” It’s the shadenfreude of privilege and being fortunate to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The specter of a chubby headcase thousands of miles away pushing the big red button and turning an entire city into glass and shadow is… too big. You can’t wrap your head around it because it means the entire world you know literally going up in a bright flash of light. When dealing with potential megadeaths and hundreds of millions of dollars of property damage you can’t think meaningfully about it.
Where am I going with this? I don’t know anymore. I live in a world where policy is set on Twitter and bored Internet sociopaths hound people to the point of taking their own lives because it’s a fun thing to do on a slow afternoon. The idea of taking a bearing on a moral compass seems as antique an idea as aspiring to having a wife, 2.3 kids and a lifelong job with a pension at the end of it. The only things we can really do are keep our heads down, avoid being the target of the next Internet witch hunt, and have our fun while we can. The candle’s burning at both ends, and it’s burning brightly enough that we can’t tell how much is left. We’re fresh out of common sense and decency and the next truck from the factory isn’t showing up anytime soon.
Pass the lube.
byline: Miss McCree is a network engineer by day for a tier-one ISP in North America, where she swears fluently, drinks coffee by the bucketful, and writes Cisco configuration files by banging her forehead on her keyboard. She occasionally configures Juniper routers by banging somebody else’s forehead on somebody else’s keyboard. By night Miss McCree haunts sex clubs and hurts people in fun ways because she’s not rich enough to get away with hurting people in the really fun nonconsensual ways. She is a practicing LeVayan Satanist who gives so few fucks, you probably owe her fucks. Miss McCree’s spirit animal is a straight razor. Miss McCree only refers to herself in the third person and hates writing.